It’s August, which means that we are officially less than one month away from finally getting to watch some college football. We’ve put together a quick piece that should help to remind you of what you’ll be going through each Saturday this fall. Enjoy.
Getting up that first Saturday won’t be easy. You’ll probably hit snooze at least a few times.
Luckily, you have that crazy friend who is always up at 5 AM, ready to go. He makes sure you leave on time for the game.
At some point, it finally sets in that it’s a college football Saturday.
There’s traffic on the way to the stadium, of course, but you figure out a way around it.
Tailgating is a blast, until the cops show up.
But you somehow schmooze them and go on your merry way.
Per usual, you drink a bit too much and wind up doing something you’ll regret later in life, like this:
Somewhere near the end of the first quarter, you finally remember where you are. It’s also the first time that you realize that your team is losing.
One section over, you witness an intoxicated fan spear a handful of innocent people. Perhaps you’re not as drunk as some of your colleagues.
Your team finally scores, giving you an excuse to debut that new dance you’ve been working on in the mirror during the offseason.
But it’s a close game in the final minute. You feel like you’re going to die today, either from excitement or depression – there is no in-between.
Your team is toast, save for one final heave. But guess what happens next.
While you celebrate like you’ve won the lottery…
…the other team’s coaching staff has decided to collectively face-plant in sadness.
This is now the greatest day of your life, and it is time to party!
…and call all of your friends who were watching the game on television.
Before heading out to celebrate, you just need to go home and change. But you just…can’t.
Don’t worry though, you’ll wake up at midnight. And you’ll turn on the television, catch the highlights and say to yourself “Yep, it was all worth it.”