It's the season of giving, but we all have something that we would really love to receive. You know, something so special that you just have to have it? Even Ebenezer Scrooge himself can't deny this.
Since it's the holidays, we decided to look at a few wish lists across college football. Here are the top items on the lists of many programs, teams, and prominent college football figures, just in case Santa needs any last-minute holiday ideas:
1. Bret Bielema: The Arkansas head coach is probably wishing he could return to Wisconsin at the moment. Sure, he wouldn't be in the all-powerful SEC, but those three consecutive Rose Bowl appearances sure do beat going winless in conference play. Bret would likely settle for a Twitter ban for his wife Jen, whose famous #karma tweet preceded nine straight losses by the Razorbacks.
2. Oregon: The Ducks wish that Stanford would join the Mountain West, Big 12, or any conference in which they wouldn't be forced to play the Cardinal. Stanford constantly derails Oregon's seasons. However, if that is asking too much, they'd gladly accept some new Nike uniforms -- contrary to most, they aren't the type of people who are disappointed by getting clothes.
3. Charlie Weis: This one is easy - better players. Weis has already called the product his program puts on the field a "pile of crap", so it can only go uphill from here. Maybe Andrew Wiggins can be the next two-sport star?
4. Clemson: Is it too late to wish that Jacob Coker could beat out Jameis Winston for the 2013 starting QB job? Yeah, probably, so Clemson fans will just wish that somehow Winston can find a way to go pro a year early -- the Tigers really don't want to have to deal with him another time.
5. Nick Saban: There's nothing that the best coach in college football wishes he had more right now than a clutch kicker. He's not even that picky -- he'll take one who can make a kick in the biggest game of the year, or somebody who can just guarantee that he'll miss outside of the field of play. Don't make the mistake of getting Nick magazines though -- he does not read them.
6. Notre Dame: The Fighting Irish need a few new academic advisors -- getting kicked out of school for a semester seems to be the new thing at ND. Notre Dame is close to doing really big things in multiple major sports, but ironically it's the academics that are leading to unnecessary struggles.
7. David Pollack: One of ESPN's best college football analysts is great at what he does -- about 95% of the time, that is. For the other 5%, Pollack wishes that he had a nice muzzle -- he's found a way to get himself into trouble several times this year. He would also settle for a Nissan Altima that could tell him when enough is enough.
8. Texas: Texas is still wishing for Nick Saban to come coach the Longhorns -- maybe having eight people try to convince him all at once will work? Really going to need some help here, Santa.
9. Kentucky: The Wildcats are still wishing for the NCAA to cut out football as a sport -- okay, fine, they are wishing for everything but basketball to be cut. Sure, they wish for this every year, but maybe it will happen eventually?
10. Lane Kiffin: The former USC head coach would simply love to be handed another job as a gift -- maybe Nick Saban can hook him up in Tuscaloosa? If he can't land a coaching gig, something practical for him to read in his spare time would be perfect.
11. Ohio State: The Buckeyes are wishing that the Big Ten never instituted a conference championship game in 2011. If only OSU had been able to avoid Michigan State, the team would be headed to Pasadena to play Florida State for the national title.
12. Mike Leach: The Mad Scientist is wishing for the NCAA to institute a traveling penalty in college football -- you shouldn't be able to run with the ball. The Cougars ran 24% of the time in 2013, and that was far too much for Leach, as it ultimately cost his team a victory in the New Mexico Bowl.
13. Auburn: The Auburn Tigers are wishing for a miracle. Oh wait, they've already received one, err, two? They would gladly accept one more, and may need it if they want to be the only team to knock off the Seminoles.
14. Louisville: The Cardinals are wishing for an easier schedule in 2014. Fans thought that they received this gift already, but it turns out that UCF was too much to handle. Is it too much to wish that Louisville doesn't actually join the ACC next year?
15. Georgia: The Bulldogs would just be content with a life's supply of Band-Aids and Advil -- they were by far the most injury-ravaged team in 2013. Something to dull the pain of a lost season would be very much appreciated.
16. The Big Ten: "We swear we're still a power conference, can we get a little respect? Please?"
17. Texas Tech: The Red Raiders wish that on-field success will be the story of next season, not their head coach's looks. Meanwhile, Kingsbury is wishing for some more men's care products, because it isn't easy to look so damn good.
18. Florida: The Gators just wish that they could forget the whole 2013 season. They already forgot things like how to block and how to win, so is this really too much to ask for?
20. The Rest Of Us: As college football fans everywhere, we need something too. Let's wish for the end of the targeting rule, or at least a change to the controversial rule that is significantly impacting games, often in a negative way. Since this wish just may come true, we all have something to hope for this holiday season.