Gisele Bundchen, the better half of the power couple with star NFL quarterback Tom Brady, opened up about some major personal details in her new book, Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life.
The 38-year-old supermodel wants to change the perception that her life is perfect. She's had some major struggles of her own that she thinks are important to talk about.
“Things can be looking perfect on the outside, but you have no idea what’s really going on,” she told PEOPLE. “I felt like maybe it was time to share some of my vulnerabilities, and it made me realize, everything I’ve lived through, I would never change, because I think I am who I am because of those experiences.”
After having her first panic attack during a bumpy flight on a small plane in 2003, she developed a fear of tunnels, elevators and other enclosed spaces. “I had a wonderful position in my career, I was very close to my family, and I always considered myself a positive person, so I was really beating myself up. Like, ‘Why should I be feeling this?’ I felt like I wasn’t allowed to feel bad,” she says. “But I felt powerless. Your world becomes smaller and smaller, and you can’t breathe, which is the worst feeling I’ve ever had.”
When the panic attacks started ambushing her even in her own home, Bündchen says she contemplated suicide.
“I actually had the feeling of, ‘If I just jump off my balcony, this is going to end, and I never have to worry about this feeling of my world closing in.’ ”
Bundchen says she has since made some major changes to her lifestyle. She's cut out sugar and has gotten into yoga and meditation.
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